For some, living longer can lead to loneliness and isolation, Friendly Visitors can help.

The idea of finding dating partners on the Internet is becoming increasing popular and is, for some, also leading to marriage. But not all people who are looking for companionship are interested in dating or marriage. A rapidly growing number of older men and women are finding themselves isolated and alone. In many cases this occurs because family members move away to take jobs in other cities, or long time friends stop driving because of illness or safely issues.

One service in the Tri-City area that excels at matching older, homebound adults with companions is the Friendly Visitors program at LIFE ElderCare. Started in 1985, this program has helped thousands of people find stimulating companionship as well as life long friends. Our experienced “friend-maker,” Bernie Thien, has developed a keen sense for putting the right people together. From a tentative first visit, he has watched friendships blossom that have led to both volunteer and Visitor developing a deep appreciation of the joys and challenges of aging. In addition, many of the Visitors provide a much needed respite for weary caregivers who desperately need a few hours during the day to recharge their batteries.

While there are a number of for-profit companies in the Tri-City area that offer a similar service, Friendly Visitors is the only nonprofit, community-based option. All volunteers go through a background check and a comprehensive training session.

Here are a few of the Tri-City seniors in the program who are currently looking for a friend:

NANCY - 77, lives alone in Newark senior apartment complex. Alert, friendly, humorous, she is eager for a new friend. Plays cribbage and backgammon. Born and raised in Pennsylvania, she worked 40 years in credit collection. She is a very active person who would enjoy going out for lunch, shopping or a movie.

KWI – 76, lives alone in Union City home. Born and raised in Seoul, Korea. Friendly and conversational, she would love to meet a new friend. She is experiencing some chronic arthritis pain but still enjoys being outdoors, gardening and walking.

GLORIA – 84, lives with son and daughter-in-law in Union City home. Born and raised in New York, she came west in 1945. Very active for her age, she watches PBS, plays board games, reads mysteries, and enjoys taking walks in the neighborhood. Son Eric is her caregiver and would welcome a Friendly Visitor to give him a much needed break.

MARIA – 67, lives with husband in Union City home. Born in the Philippines, she came to the US in 1966. She has a B.A. in nutrition and has traveled extensively in Europe, Israel, Alaska and Hawaii. She is currently getting dialysis 3 times per week on Monday, Wednesday and Friday and really needs a good friend for visits, conversation, phone calls, possible car trips for groceries, lunch, and visits to mall. She is a very deserving person trying to make the best of a difficult situation.

To view all of the seniors looking for a friend, please visit our website.

Bernie Thien
Friendly Visitors Coordinator
510-574-2097

Cecilia Talamentes, community volunteer with LIFE ElderCare’s Friendly Visitor program helps local Alzheimer’s patient and her caregiver.

Every family caregiver needs a little respite from their responsibilities, and this is especially true if their loved one is suffering from Alzheimer’s disease. Our Friendly Visitor program gives caregivers a few hours a week to do what they need to do, while the person they care for enjoys a one to two-hour visit with a community volunteer.

One of these volunteers, Cecilia Talamentes, was recently praised by a City of Fremont case manager for her dedicated assistance to a client suffering from significant short-term memory loss due to Alzheimer’s disease. Because the client is unable to remember who people are, and what occurs from day to day, the prospect of regular visits might discourage many people from investing their time.

But according to the case manager, “Cecilia has expressed her selfless and compassionate spirit by building a relationship under very challenging circumstances. Although she works full-time as a Nursing Assistant at the Ford Surgery Center, she still makes time to visit with my client after work. I admire how she has persevered and I truly believe she has made a difference in my client’s world. Cecilia is extremely patient and is able to look beneath the confusion and appreciate and enjoy my client’s unique value as a person. She helps not only me, but the client’s daughter as well, in monitoring this client’s status. Her dedication has helped keep the client in her own home where she can be with her beloved dog that is the center of her world. It is people like Cecilia who make growing older a bit brighter and happier.”

In addition to visiting with the above client, Cecilia took the time to bring three homebound, elderly residents from Fremont, Newark and Union City to our recent Annual Friendly Visitor Party held at the Fremont Senior Center.

To sign up as a Friendly Visitor volunteer, call Bernie at 510-574-2097.

We all know that it’s more fun to attend a party with a friend. But for many homebound seniors the opportunities to party are rare.

Every year, LIFE ElderCare’s Friendly Visitor program puts on a great party to celebrate the bonds of friendship between our homebound seniors and their volunteer visitors. This year’s party, “It’s Roundup Time at the O.K. Corral,” drew over 80 participants who donned western hats and bright bandanas to enjoy a buffet luncheon and sing along to popular western tunes performed by The South County Trio. Bernie Thien, Friendly Visitor Program Coordinator and Mary Anderson, Executive Director, served as hosts for the event. In addition to lunch and music, photos of the senior and their visitor were taken, prizes were given to trivia question winners and door prizes were awarded at the end of the party. [slideshow]

We extend a hearty thank you to the planning committee, Joyce DeZarn, Susan Jeongco, Lisa Fraga-Ramos, Ann Phadnis, Cally Lin and Rocio Barlow for their enthusiastic participation and support.

The Friendly Visitors program at LIFE ElderCare matches frail, isolated seniors with volunteers that provide companionship through weekly visits, phone calls and outings. To sign up give Bernie a call at 510-574-2097.

Friendly Visitors - An intergenerational, multi-cultural match making service that works

The Friendly Visitors program at LIFE ElderCare matches frail, isolated seniors with volunteers that provide companionship through weekly visits, phone calls and outings. Currently 140 seniors are matched with caring volunteers. This program gives older adults the chance to share their knowledge and experience with people of all ages and backgrounds.

Recently, a young man in his 20′s from Ghana started visiting a 90-year-old man from Montana. When asked what they had in common he said, “Oh, we play checkers and tell jokes. He has a good sense of humor and we laugh a lot.” We have a saying in Ghana that goes something like this, “if they have seen the development of our teeth, we need to be there to see the deterioration of theirs.” Another good match is Terry, 75, who meets weekly with Susan, a homemaker in her fifties. They are both from the Philippines and share a passion for making their own jewelry.

Bernie Thien, Friendly Visitors Coordinator, has been matching seniors and volunteers for the past 10 years. After reviewing a person’s background, interests and the kind of friend they are looking for he then looks for volunteers with similar interests. Once a volunteer is identified a meeting is set up between the senior and volunteer to see if it’s a good match. If they like each other, a friendship begins!

Here are a few of the lively, interesting people in the program who are currently looking for a new friend.

· Betty - 70 Alert, friendly, talkative. Enjoys the outdoors, walking and swimming. Has traveled to Alaska, Caribbean, Mexico and New Orleans. Worked in real estate for 20 years.

· Terry – 77 Originally from Honolulu, Hawaii, she now lives in Fremont. Friendly, in good physical health, enjoys company. She is looking for a volunteer friend to walk with two to three days per week to build up her stamina.

· Luella – 89 Has a nursing degree and a Master’s in psychology, worked 45 years as a nurse. Also volunteered at Kaiser Hospital for 17 years. She would like an energetic volunteer friend for socializing, short walks, assisting her with crosswords and outdoor gardening.

· Mildred – 85 Enjoys reading, TV, football and board games. Likes art, sketches in charcoal and pencil. Her daughter-in-law is a full time caregiver and would enjoy an hour or two per week for herself. Jane has enjoyed a very full life and would love to share her experiences with a volunteer friend.

· Carol – 60 Born and raised in small town in Nebraska, she enjoys country and western music, playing board games, sewing, quilting and embroidery. She would enjoy conversation, telephone calls, assisted walks, lunch and shopping outings.

· Bettie – 92 Worked in Hayward schools as instructional aide and language specialist for 20 years. She enjoys TV, radio talk shows and art. Daughter often works and Bettie is home alone. Bettie would appreciate an older volunteer visitor for conversation, phone calls, lunch and special outings. She has many stories to tell.

In addition to visiting, volunteers are invited to quarterly training sessions where they can share their stories and learn more about senior issues from experienced health professionals. They can also bring their senior to the Annual Senior/Volunteer Party held at the Fremont Senior Center.

If you are interested in participating up call Bernie, at 510-574-2097 or visit LIFE ElderCare’s website . All volunteers must pass a background check and attend an orientation prior to participating in the program.

LIFE ElderCare helps Tri-City residents navigate their way through the unpredictable passages of aging.

Bernie Thien, Gloria Gaisford and Mary Anderson

On May 24, 2010, Woodmen of the World, a fraternal benefit organization and insurance company, donated $500 to LIFE ElderCare’s Friendly Visitors program. Gloria Gaisford presented the check to Bernie Thien, Program Coordinator and Mary Anderson, Executive Director, at the LIFE ElderCare office in Fremont, CA.

Gaisford has been a volunteer with the Friendly Visitors program for the past 10 years and is an active member of the Woodmen of the World Lodge. She and her husband Ray visited homebound seniors together for many years, but after he fell ill, she continued as a Friendly Visitor on her own. “The six years that Ray and I spent visiting a frail elderly woman named Martha helped prepare both of us for what we would face when he suffered a stoke in 2003.”

During her husband’s illness, Gaisford found LIFE ElderCare’s Fall Prevention program to be a great help and comfort. The program assisted the couple with the installation of grab bars and a shower chair in the bathroom, as well as a wheelchair ramp for entry into the house from the garage. For over two years the program also provided weekly visits from student nurses at Unitek College that helped her husband with his mobility and gave her invaluable training on how to care for him as his illness progressed.

“Most people never think about the prospect of becoming ill and not being able to care for themselves,” says Anderson. “Our programs give healthy people a way to be involved in the process of aging as a volunteer and, when the times comes, to have a compassionate volunteer care for them in return.”

Gaisford was recently paired with Enis, a 93-year-old woman who lives in the Niles district of Fremont. “I told Bernie, get me a girlfriend I can have fun with,” she said. So far they have taken in a few plays and are looking forward to building a great friendship.

If your company or organization is looking for a way to contribute to healthy aging in the Tri-City area please give Mary Anderson a call at 510-574-2091. To become a Friendly Visitor, call Bernie Thien at 510-574-2097.

The community we live in is our best long-term care system.

A significant demographic shift is happening throughout the world. People are getting old at an unprecedented rate and this global aging is changing the social and economic nature of the planet. Numerous articles have appeared in the media alerting us to the difficult challenges this shift may present in the future.

Being aware of these challenges is important but what is equally important is the need to raise awareness of the ongoing community response to aging, a response that has always been embraced and responded to primarily from the heart. Now more than ever, it is time to recognize and acknowledge the fact that human communities do take care of their elderly, both within the family unit itself and through contributions to charity and volunteerism.

For almost thirty-five years the Meals on Wheels Program at LIFE ElderCare has delivered meals to frail, hungry seniors through an all-volunteer staff of drivers. During the 2008-2009 fiscal year, over 93,000 daily meals were delivered in the Tri-City area, representing a donation of 14,230 hours. If you add in the volunteer hours of the organization’s other three programs, VIP Rides, Falls Prevention and Friendly Visitors the total comes to 37,100. Given that the average wage in Alameda County for a home health aide is $11.50 an hour, this represents an annual dollar contribution of $426,650 through volunteerism alone.

And, the community benefit increases dramatically when you add in the fact that LIFE ElderCare’s services help keep vulnerable seniors in their homes for as long as safely possible, By reducing the likelihood that elderly residents will experience malnutrition, preventable falls, isolation and immobility, the organization keeps down the cost of premature institutionalization. (During 2008 the average cost of one month in an assisted living center in Oakland was $3,197.00).

The financial contribution of one community organization through volunteerism can be enormous. But what is even more important is the emotional benefit the volunteers receive in giving their time to help others. A community that embraces the idea of service is a community that grows through love.

LIFE ElderCare awarded $20,000 matching grant from PAMF

LIFE ElderCare was recently awarded a $20,000 matching grant from the Palo Alto Medical Foundation to provide core support for the organization’s mission; helping frail, homebound seniors living in Fremont, Newark and Union City, California. The grant money will be made available to the organization when it has generated an equal amount of money from private donations. During the month of April, $3,500 was contributed to meet this goal.

The additional funding will help guarantee full access to the organization’s four direct service programs, Meals on Wheels, Friendly Visitors, VIP Rides and Falls Prevention. These essential services currently reduce the risk of malnutrition; reduce loneliness and isolation, enable transportation and help decrease falls among frail, elderly adults living in the Tri-City area.

“Older Americans and their caretakers are proactively seeking out information and resources that will help them manage the elderly stage of life,” says Mary M. Anderson, Executive Director of LIFE ElderCare, “this matching grant from the Palo Alto Medical Foundation will help us communicate our need for community support while ensuring access to vital programs that keep seniors healthy and independent.”

LIFE ElderCare is a leader and innovator in the field of elder care services. Started in 1975, the organization currently delivers close to 90,000 hot, nutritious meals per year to 700 hungry seniors who are unable to shop or prepare their own meals. During 2007/2008 the organization also matched 204 seniors with friends, assisted 179 seniors with transportation, and enrolled 291 seniors in the In-Home Exercise Program.

Given the urgency of the need, the organization is encouraging potential donors to respond quickly by donating online or by mailing a check. Information on donating is available at: http://lifeeldercare.org/howyoucanhelp.html .

Friendly Visitors brighten the lives of seniors who suffer from chronic and debilitating illnesses – and give much needed respite to primary caretakers.

A recent article in the New York Times, “What Are Friends For? A Longer Life,” presents research findings that confirm the importance of friendship and social networks in the overall health of an individual. The health benefits that come from having friends has also been confirmed by both volunteers and participants in LIFE ElderCare’s Friendly Visitors program.

Currently, 140 seniors are enrolled in this program and 70% of them are homebound. “Many of our clients have very little contact with people other than their caretakers,” says Bernie Thien, Friendly Visitors Coordinator, “it does them a world of good to see a friendly face and to have someone help them get out of the house to do a little assisted walking.” Having been with the program for 10 years, Bernie has become very good at matching seniors with the right volunteers. By sharing common interests, backgrounds and hobbies, the volunteers and seniors bond quickly and typically stay with each other until the senior passes away or the volunteer moves out of the area. Here are two of their stories.

Ishendra and Anjali recently immigrated to the US to be closer to their children who live in the area. They are both retired and enjoy volunteering. During the past year they have been visiting Rama and Raman, a married couple who have both had stokes. Rama has multiple illnesses in addition to her stroke and is unable to walk. She and Raman are taken care of by relatives and a part-time nurse.

Because it is hard for both of them to talk, Ishendra and Anjali do most of the talking. They are from the same region in India as Rama and Raman so there is a common culture that both couples share. The visits usually take place in the morning and last from two to three hours. They also call every few days to see how the couple is getting along. “Despite being very ill,” Anjali says, “the couple tries to maintain a positive attitude — and they have shown great appreciation for our visits.”

Doreen, another Friendly Visitor, met Carolyn and Bob while delivering meals to Carolyn on her Meals on Wheels route. Carolyn has been confined to a wheelchair since suffering a major stroke and her husband Bob is her primary caretaker. While chatting during a meal delivery he mentioned to Doreen that it would be great if someone could come by and visit Carolyn so that he could leave to do errands and shopping. Doreen said she would be glad to do it. She now visits Carolyn once a week for two hours and often takes her out for walks. “Everybody should give back something to the community,” she says, “if you make the time you can usually spare one to two hours a week to help someone in need.”

If you are interested in the Friendly Visitors program please contact Bernie Thien at 510-574-2097 or email him at bthien@ci.fremont.ca.us.

I am grateful for the programs and the caring volunteers.

I visit a client who receives Meals on Wheels because she is physically unable to shop or cook for herself. She often tells me how much she loves the meals and loves the caring volunteers who deliver the meals. She is also enrolled in the Friendly Visitor program and has developed a wonderful friendship with the volunteer. She states “I am so grateful for these programs and for these caring individuals; I can’t imagine my life without them. Their gift of time is precious and I appreciate it more than I can say.”

- City of Fremont, Senior Peer Counselor

Friendly Visitor program bridges cultures and generations.

I recently met one of our Friendly Visitors, a young man in his 20′s from Ghana who has been volunteering every week to visit with one of our seniors. His new friend is a 90-year old man from Montana. I wondered what they possibly had in common so I asked him. He said, “Oh, we play checkers and tell jokes. He has a good sense of humor. We laugh a lot.” We also have a saying in our country and it goes something like this — “if he has seen the development of our teeth, we need to be there to see the deterioration of theirs.”

A wonderful commentary on friendship — a sharing of strengths and weaknesses. Seniors don’t ask for very much — simply a sense of caring and the gift of our time.

Mary M. Anderson, Executive Director
LIFE ElderCare

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